The Blue Clam
by Naked Pistol
Summary: Youhei Sunohara lives an alternate life at night and during the day; At night he's a secret musician, renowned at The Blue Clam; During the day he's a delinquent at risk of losing his home. What if his secrets were revealed? Alternate summary inside.
1. Hello, Japan!

Disclaimer: I do not own Clannad nor its characters.

Authors Note: I want everyone to understand that there are certain things in this fiction that have only happened inside this fiction, and there will be things that will never happen. My style of writing is fairly simple to understand and I've proof read this many, many times. I appreciate reviews and love feedback and critique, which is necessary for choosing a pairing. Keep in mind that the majority of the story wont be told through character P.O.V.'s but don't believe that there wont be many, because I feel they're necessary for the plot to develope.

Summary: Youhei Sunohara is a delinquent on the brink of losing his home because of an ultimatum presented by his school's principle. Spending his nights living the secret life of a musician and utilizing his days to go to school, he makes an earnest attempt to alter his previously decided fate into a better future. What if in the process two peculiar females discover his secret?

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Enjoy.  
Chapter 1: Hello, Japan!

* * *

_"I look at the world and I notice it turning, while my guitar gently weeps._"

* * *

**(Youhei Sunohara's P.O.V.)**

I honestly can't remember everything falling apart to this extent, to the point that everything is seemingly unfixable. Every night and day I think about it whether I want to or not, and it's always something weighing heavily on my conscience. The '_it_' that I'm speaking of is my life. I know on the outside it seems that I'm irresponsible, immature, bratty – Okay, being completely honest with myself right now, that's a precise description of me. The good stuff just hasn't been included.

However I have an outlet, a secret outlet for all this pent up rage and insecurity. However after all was said and done, though making me feel a lot better, this outlet wasn't going to last if I made no change. It's what I preached about to myself.

_Sigh._

Ever since my encounter with this schools shitty soccer team I've changed. I had a friend whom seemed cut from the same cloth as I, but I witnessed his change. It all started with Furukawa Nagisa-chan. I used to be from their world, a bright and hopeful, law abiding pedestrian. However I changed, too, before I met them into what I am now; into what I am attempting to change once again, but this time for the better.

I wonder if I could start changing positively if I had a girlfriend. However I quickly discard the idea. Okazaki had always been more approachable than I. He would at least make an attempt to make it to school more often than my record. He wanted something new, exciting. I lived believing that where I was currently standing was as good as life would ever get for me.

I'm sure myself of 30 years in the future would disagree and beat me into submission until I changed, altering my self-destructive destiny. I came to terms that I couldn't change without help and had completely stopped trying because those that would try always left in the end, even when I tried helping myself with their help. It's like every adult in my life is a professional liar, doing this for a living and a moment of clear conscience.

I wished they dropped dead.

However I knew for the longest time that school was paramount in life, especially for a teenager in Japan. Your social standards were based on your intelligence. Of course in High School things can be a bit different, but those that are successful truly live on a different plain of existence. Think of Student Council Body President versus Delinquent Class Clown. The difference is crystal clear.

Ironically enough it's something that has happened. It ended with me in the duster shoot once and Tomoyo-chan completely disliking me. I don't have a particular opinion on her. I don't like her and it's not like I hate her, too. I simply dislike females beating males in general, especially in fisticuffs.

I admit, she's beaten me many a time.

Anyway, the problematic fact remained that school is important. I still never showed up on time, skipped on occasions.

That weak excuse of school attendance is what brings me to my current problem.

**(End P.O.V.)**

* * *

**( Narrator P.O.V. )**

"Youhei Sunohara, are you listening?!" Youhei flinched as the Principle slammed his hand into the desk in between the student and representative of the school. "I've watched you, Sunohara-san, since middle school, when you were the epitome of success till now, a poor excuse of a student. Do you not care for your future?"

"Not a bit." Youhei waved his hand casually, leaning back on his current seat using two of the four legs.

"I don't think that's true." The Principle gritted his teeth. "Your attendance for a school of this rank is horrid and I'll have to put a stop to you being part of our community if you make no attempt to improve. You have a younger sister whom I'm sure doesn't want to see you fail. Perhaps you have friends who also care about your success? Most importantly, I think you acknowledge that you truly do care."

Youhei fell silent for a moment, Mei-chan, yes, would care where he's heading in his life. What about his friends? He didn't feel they existed during this particular moment and since a while ago, too. _'Of course I care.. What about my so called friends?_ _Tomoya found someone who caused him to change. He's not a delinquent because he decides to stay out late. The kid is trying. Thinking about it, there's some distance between him and I; we haven't hung out steadily this past month, eh_...'

"You know, my teachers tell me that I'll end up as a garbage truck driver if I continue down this road." Youhei took a pen and paper off the Principles desk, writing down a number. "I found it interesting that garbage truck drivers make 29,000 a year, and the average teacher makes 24,000 a year."

Youhei scribbled the number beneath the first one, adding a subtraction sign to the side and deducing a new number.

"Then that means I'm making 5,000 more than his dumb ass." Youhei laughed, placing the pen back into its holding. "I guess we have nothing to discuss, seems I'll be successful without school. Later, pops."

The Principle sighed.

"Those statistics were correct about a decade ago but now the average teacher makes a third more than a garbage truck driver, Sunohara-san."

Youhei face-planted onto the door. '_There goes my awesome movie quote and exit!' __  
_  
"Though 29,000 is a good number to be making while picking up societies trash, if that's what you want to do then passing through this school into college is necessary. You're ignorant if you feel that society hasn't advanced and become far more complicated. "The Principle sipped on his coffee mug. "The dormitory in which you stay with has a certain golden rule for you, Sunohara-san, requiring you to go to school."

"What are you getting at, old man?" Sunohara slumped into the chair.

"I don't hold failure, no life idiots in my school. If you want to be some kind of comic relief then get a job as a clown." The Principle spoke in a soft, cruel manner causing Youhei to wince subconsciously. "If your failure to meet the school requirements; Scholastic grade-wise, I.Q. wise and attendance, continues then I will kick you from this school, ultimately kicking you from your dorm."

Youhei glared into the Principles eyes. "That's dirty, pops." His fist clenched as he started into the glazed lens of the authority figure's glasses. "Are you picking a fight with me?"

The Principle squeezed the skin between his brows together, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "You and I aren't so different, Sunohara-san. When I was a child I was also going through rebellious motions, finding excuses to discontinue my studies and focus my attention on a supposed pressing matter at hand."

Sunohara continued to stare intensely, his eyes betraying his true emotions, specifically one of interest. The Principle continued.

"Now perhaps your parents can't give you the proper guidance because they're far away, I know this very well as I offered them the solution of you staying in our sponsored dorms. I will give you the proper guidance or you'll become tumble weed and blow away with the wind, Sunohara-san."

Youhei had long ago lost his look of rage, it was replaced with confusion. He didn't understand, it scared him to think that the head authority figure in the school actually cared enough to provide his family with a solution to their financial situation. In retrospect Youhei could understand that his parents never had to pay for the dorm, ever, nor did he. He stared with mix emotions at the Principle; he couldn't choose whether to hate the man or claim him his secondary father.

"What do you care about me? Is this all a part of your job?! Don't fuck with me, old man." Sunohara pushed himself up and against the wall; the Principle followed the boy into the wall, sitting himself Indian style in front of Sunohara.

"Anyway, Sunohara-san, as I was saying, I also went through a rebellious stage in my child hood. Yes, what you are experiencing is nothing more than passing phase. I, too, realized it around your age with external help. I remember the person who had given me the time of day when no other would was Komoru-sensei. I'll part the words he spoke with me to you, Sunohara-san: "You'll reach a point in your life when everything that could have been accomplished as a child is now unachievable, becoming the broken wheel in societies butterfly, you'll realize just how little you've done with your life and at that moment is when you'll comprehend that everything you've believed in as a child, this silly rebellion is nothing more than a passing phase. I will save you because I believe in second chances," is what he said to me. It's what I'm explaining to you." The Principle smiled nostalgically at the memory, removing his glasses to clean them sloppily with his dress shirt before gliding them back up the brim of his nose, onto his face.

"I am now 43 years old and only by watching you have come to realize what he meant," The Principle spoke matter-of-factually. "What do I care about you? I care for the success of a bright Japan and you children are key, the credibility of the school, and the students who are the successors of this generation, all coexist within the walls of my school. It also happens to be part of my job, yes; this is why I chose to be the principle. I will teach you that there are consequences to every action and will gamble your wellbeing in my dorms to invoke change. Here are your choices: One, you improve your attendance and grades. Two, you get kicked out of the dorm and make and live your life away from my school. "

The Principle got himself up, dusting the back of his black dress pants as he laughed lightly. Taking care to pick Sunohara up from his position against the wall and on the ground, he pointed him to the door.

"Think carefully, Sunohara-san. Success and limitations are also psychological." The Principle closed the door to his office, but not before calling out, "Oh, try to find yourself a club, some sort of productive activity to participate yourself in after school. Things of that nature make school a bit more fun."

**( A day later, at present. Sunohara's P.O.V.)**

My mind and heart were completely overwhelmed that day, leaving me confused and at a loss of what to do. During my lunch break I had received a note from the Student Council President written by the Principle saying that I have a week to show improvements before he begins to take disciplinary measures.

I wanted to shout, scream. I wanted to thrash and lose control. I remember that I instead settled for option c; Taking his words completely to heart.

My biggest outlet was also my biggest secret. It's nothing crazy like drugs but a rather artistic one, which I felt had to ultimately remain a secret. I would hate it if Okazaki Tomoya found out that I went to The Blue Clam to sing my heart out. I could already imagine all the jokes, him coming to the underground bar to jeer my performance. I'm not a bad guitar player; I have a fantastic group of band mates that play just as well, if not better. I wouldn't call them friends. The word _'Friend'_ to me is sacred and I've opted to use it carefully.

I remember after the conversation with the old man that I wrote a song while in class. It almost seemed I was paying attention to my teacher. Almost, I said. When I write music the inspirational spark to write is short, however throughout the short lived spark duration a side of me pulsates every ounce of emotion existing within me through my veins and out of my heart, out of my mouth, and onto a paper pad through a pen.

The song we practiced to perfection within a few hours and decided to play it live the day after. The biggest curiosity about I was that everything I sang had to be in English. I learned the language as a child to near perfection. I reckon I could pass off as an American sometimes and fantasize singing for an American crowd someday at a larger scale.

"Youhei-kun, did you tune up your guitar? We're on in two." The voice belonged to no one other than my idol and back up guitar player, Yusuke Yoshino. Though he's currently employed as an electrician and married to a former teacher of my own school, he's a legendary MC and an amazing rock artist.

"Yeah, I've got everything covered on my end." I made sure the uplifting feeling in my chest shows through with my voice. A part of me feels it's necessary to retain my manliness and present a bit of professionalism, so it comes out more casual than I wanted. "How is our drummer and bass guitarist?"

"A-OK." I heard him say.

I took a deep breath as I heard our usual greeting; oxygen seemed trapped between my throat and chest. These moments were exhilarating to me. I loved the sound of the crowd, the feel of the guitar strings beneath my fingers, the adrenaline pulsating in my heart, body, mind and soul, sneaking its way around my veins.

I feel myself grin viciously, excitedly; I exhale and greet the crowed with a loud roar of my guitar.

"Hello, Japan!"

**(End P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(One day ago. Kyou Fujibayashi's P.O.V.)**

Sometimes I question my decision of becoming the Class Representative. I've always got to stop in mid-lectures to do favors for the teacher, staying after school often when I could be out doing God knows what. It's probably taken a lot away from my life. I guess when it comes down to truth, I don't regret it. It's all in preparation for my dream, a simple one, to become a Kindergarten teacher.

Working with kids is something that I love doing. I work a part-time job working with children. I sighed and resigned myself to the fate I chose.

I had always chosen to walk past Tomoya's class. Sometimes I felt it was no big secret that I loved him, however the cover of using my sister to get personal glances and conversation with him must have been a good cover. Don't get it wrong!

I want Ryou to be with him. However at the same time I don't.

I spent a moment staring at him, how he slept with his face turned towards the sky, blissfully dreaming his day away. I knew him better than most but probably didn't know him best. Nagisa-chan, his current girlfriend knew him best. I knew this without a doubt.

It makes me think to about the moment that I realized he had eyes for no one but her. It devastated Ryou as well, who took it at a better stride than I. It's to be expected; the one that opened Tomoya was certainly Nagisa-chan, giving him a chance to understand the importance of friends and family.

I felt myself tear up. It was a painful realization. If Tomoya was happy then I would cheer him on full-heartedly.

Understand this will never stop me from thinking, _'What if..'_

I quickly made tracks down the hall and cleared the bottom stairs in record time. My job was to take the list of present students for the month to the Principle, whom would review it and do whatever the Principle did with said list.

I was greeted by a few of my older and current teachers, obviously they were on break, and I greeted back with a smile and a wave.

"Is Hirameshi-san busy?" I questioned after I ran into the closed door. His door was rarely ever closed.

"He's apprehending Sunohara about something. I'm not sure what but whenever Sunohara and Okazaki are in the office it's never good." I frowned but held my tongue. I wasn't here to start problems. I understood that both Sunohara and Tomoya were looked down on.

"I guess I'll wait." This gave me a chance to skip some of my class. Legally, I'll add.

After a few minutes I saw that the teachers were clearing out and heading to their respective classes, leaving what I could imagine to be a secretary and some other office representatives, which left me with little clue of their role in the office. I shrugged it off.

I was seated directly beside the office door. I knew I could stash them inside the Principles box and if anyone asked why I was here I'd simply say, "_To hand something important to the Principle."_ Flash them a genuine hall pass and continue about my business. Twiddling my hair between my index and thumb, I enjoyed the smooth texture, I sighed softly. Sometimes I wondered about Sunohara.

He genuinely helped with the Theatre Club and is one of the founding members. Thanks to his and Tomoya's perseverance, we managed to succeed. Especially his own input to the club, causing another club whom threatened Furukawa Nagisa to back out after our display of athleticism. Tomoya isn't able to raise his right arm above shoulder length and no one thought that Sunohara was so successful with sports.

Well, no one that knew Sunohara after his encounter with the Soccer Club that is.

I caught glance of something silver. It was hair belonging to Tomoyo, the Student Council President. It took me a while to adjust to her, thinking of her as a rival to both Ryou and I, however now that Tomoya is taken, she's nothing more than a female. I still didn't like her professional attitude.

Even if she was often right, More often than not.

She's a very to-the-point girl and certainly something to admire.

She gave me a glance and I understood, firstly waving my hall pass and files in front of her then telling her, "Busy with Sunohara apparently."

"The idiot never seems to learn. He should take a page from Okazaki-kun's book and learn some sort of proper equity."

I grunted an agreement. Eventually everything went silent again. I could hear voices this time, they were closer to the door.

_"What do you care about me? Is this all a part of your job?! Don't fuck with me, old man." _The distinguished voice and tone certainly belonged to Sunohara. From the corner of my eye I could see Tomoyo shaking her head disapprovingly. This wasn't how Sunohara usually sounded; his voice wasn't taunting nor obnoxious, but scared and pleading, as if looking for a solution to a problem.

'_What problem though?_' I found myself contemplating, subconsciously pushing my ear closer to the door, I tried to hear more.

_"Anyway, Sunohara-san, as I was saying, I also went through a rebellious stage in my child hood. Yes, what you are experiencing is nothing more than passing phase. I, too, realized it around your age with external help. I remember the person who had given me the time of day when no other would was Komoru-sensei. I'll part the words he spoke with me to you, Sunohara-san: "You'll reach a point in your life when everything that could have been accomplished as a child is now unachievable, becoming the broken wheel in societies butterfly, you'll realize just how little you've done with your life and at that moment is when you'll comprehend that everything you've believed in as a child, this silly rebellion is nothing more than a passing phase that hasn't achieved a single thing for you. I will save you because I believe in second chances," is what he said to me. It's what I'm explaining to you."_

I heard footsteps approaching the door and quickly got up and noticed I wasn't the only one rushing out of site. Out came the Principle, helping Sunohara through the door.  
_  
__"Think carefully, Sunohara-san. Success and limitations are also psychological."_ The Principle closed the _"Oh, try to find yourself a club, some sort of productive_ _activity to participate yourself in after school. Things of that nature make school a bit more fun."_

I was expecting the blonde delinquent to scream obscenities, to curse the Principle, kick a desk. However he opted for none of the above. He stood there solemnly, eyes downcast and fist clenched, shaking. I could hear him sigh and swore it sounded painful, it made my own breath clench in my chest. This was a side of Youhei Sunohara that I've never expected to see, ever.

Eventually he lifted his eyes to the broad back of our Principle; a serious gaze that could pierce armor and go straight to the soul was plastered on Sunohara's face. It seemed to work in contrast with our Principle's pleasant smile.

Eventually Sunohara took a step and chuckled, scratching the back of his head nervously, he shrugged his intense mood off and slapped his cheeks.

"Yosh! Can't have people find out about this." And he walked out of the office.

"That was odd." I found myself commenting after what felt like hours.

"Indeed. I wonder what they discussed. I've never seen Sunohara so shaken." Tomoyo dusted her skirt as she pulled herself up and offered me a hand. I gratefully took it.

"If it's about him changing then I guess I'll give him some pointers without being too obvious." I found myself saying. It was truly out of my character to do something like this. I would have normally discarded the memory and continued about my life. Something compelled me to try and talk to the delinquent.

"Why?" Tomoyo had the same confusing look on her face that I wore currently.

"I guess this is my way of giving him a helping hand. He's certainly not the kind to talk to anyone about his problems and he did help from beginning to end with the Theatre Club." I nodded, semi-closing my eyes. She seemed to have taken that as an answer. "He's a perverted idiot but goes out of his way to help others, even if he doesn't realize it."

"I guess I'll join you. If you can wait till tomorrow night since I'll be busy with Student Council work, I'd greatly appreciate it." I nodded. I had a few things to take care of myself anyway.

"Yeah, I'll wait for you. We can go after our club activity if that's fine with you." As she nodded I deposited the contents of the folder into the Principles personal box and made my way to class. It was certainly an interesting turn of events and almost felt thankful I got to see the scene unfold.

Of course, as Tomoyo had stated, I wonder what originally caused the conversation. Many people wouldn't have bothered giving the young man any advice, especially faculty staff. He wasn't very well liked in the school.

However, I found my mentality arguing, he did help Nagisa-chan full heartedly and that deserves some sort of respect and reward.

**(Next day, later in the night. Kyou Fujibayashi P.O.V.]**

I had arrived with Tomoyo at Sunohara's dorm, expecting the blonde delinquent to be home. To our surprise, he wasn't. Misae Sagara, the dorm mother, told us that he had gone out with a guitar and an electrician she sees often working in the neighborhood. She didn't have any other details.

She described the electrician to have blue hair and extremely well dressed; an overall fantastic looking man. I figured it was Tomoya's current employer, Yusuke Yoshino.

"I guess we've got no choice but to call it a night. Perhaps we'll have a better chance tomorrow." Tomoyo said, obviously a bit disappointed. I learned that she was eager to help those in trouble and often went out of her way to do so. She carried herself well enough to know when she wouldn't be of any help and when it would interfere with her goals and schedule.

"I gues-"I found myself cut off by a little girl in blue pigtails. I knew her as Mei Sunohara.

"Um.. Excuse me." I instantly grabbed the girl and cuddled her. I was a sucker for adorable. "Hello, Kyou-nii!" She gave me a soft smile and I grinned in response. I glanced over to the confused underclassman, and laughed.

"This is Youhei's sister. Mei-chan, this is our schools Student Council President Tomoyo. She's a bit bratty but it's okay." Mei giggled and waved at Tomoyo, who blushed in embarrassment and whispered a few inaudible curses. "Mei-chan, do you know where Youhei is?"

Mei nodded.

"He's at The Blue Clam! I think he forgot I was coming and left." Tomoyo stared at the little girl. I'm sure we thought the same thing.

_'Why would Youhei Sunohara go to The Blue Clam?'_ So I asked.

"Why would he go to The Blue Clam?" Mei giggled and grabbed our hands; Tomoyo confusingly let herself be dragged on, and I was dragged on by the tail of my curiosity.

"I'm surprised he hasn't told any of his friends yet. I guess my brother can be mysterious." Mei nodded to herself, obviously looking at her brother the only way a sister could.

"What's he doing at The Blue Clam? Isn't that a bit of an adult place? Beer and whatnot being distributed, I'd figure you'd need to be 21 and older to get in." Tomoyo questioned. I was simply waiting to see. Eventually we'd figure his mystery out.

"Well, they give my brother an exception because he's cool and they enjoy his presence." Mei stated matter-of-factually. "He's very popular."  
_  
__'Doesn't this sound fishy,'_ I thought to myself_, 'People enjoying Sunohara's presence?' _

I could tell that Tomoyo was thinking along the same lines as I. It would be interesting to see in the end. Despite Youhei being an idiot nothing involving him was boring. Tomoya would tell me about the encounters between Youhei and Tomoyo, and it'd leave me rolling with laughter. I couldn't suppress a giggle.

Eventually we reached a large establishment with the picture of a giant blue clam painted coolly over a billboard with graphitized words, "The Blue Clam."

It was the most popular college hangout by far in our town. A lot of people were renowned for coming here to play music; amateur night was every night, but wasn't limited to anyone. Getting to play live at The Blue Clam involved a process of word-of-mouth suggesting and a strong reputation reaching the ears of the owners and managers of this establishment.

I knew this because I, myself, played the drums avidly and held the desire of participating in one of their amateur night shows with a band that I was in, which currently didn't exist. I've played drums for quite a while, too, and it was another one of my many secrets. Ryou was perhaps the only person who knew. Oh, and Tomoya, too. He had caught me using the drums in the south music room about half a year back. They had belonged to a senior friend while I was a freshman. He was my first crush and my first heartbreak. He did leave me his drums, though. It made me feel cherished.

It was unlikely that Youhei was inside The Blue Clam to play music. As far as I knew, he had no interest in playing guitar. Well, there was the one time Tomoya told her about how he met Yusuke-san with Youhei and the blonde delinquent purchased a cheap guitar to practice because of feeling inspired.

I rubbed my chin, thinking, ignoring the conversation existing between both girls, obliviously consumed by my own thoughts.

"There's no way, right? A handsome electrician running off with him, him being Youhei, who had a guitar, came to The Blue Clam with said electrician, who was a former lead guitarist and singer of a band, quite the renowned band, too.." I hadn't noticed my jumbled thoughts slipping carelessly out of my mouth.

"You guessed it? I guess it's not surprising." Mei beamed at me, grabbing my hand and pushing the door open. "He's not the type to express his emotions and thoughts in any other way through music. First it was choir, and then eventually because of Yusuke-san it became what it is now." I was greeted by the sound of a roaring guitar; my heart started beating abnormally fast, as fast as the crowds cheering. My thoughts were drowned out by the loud thunderous stomps of feet, sequentially matching the base.

And there he was, standing in all his glory, wearing our school uniform, hair dyed back to black, but it was certainly him. Shirt wide open revealing what seemed to be a black wife beater and his tie sloppily hanging around his neck. In that moment perhaps I had mentally synched with the crowd because presently Youhei Sunohara certainly looked like a rock star. Guitar guided by his right hand hand, I certainly didn't realize he was left handed, and his left hand was strumming chords which I would have gambled a moment ago that couldn't even name.

Presently this looked like a well acknowledged band. I could see the famed electrician stabilizing the rhythm beside Youhei, eyes closed intensely. Was he the lead singer?

I swallowed hard as Youhei stalked up to the microphone excitedly. The crowd roared and I swear it got louder after he spoke, too.

"Hello, Japan!"

**(End P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(A few minutes before walking into The Blue Clam. Tomoyo Sakagami's P.O.V.)**

_'It was probably some sort of delinquent hide out.'_ I thought to myself. _'From what I gathered The Blue Clam is an adult establishment. Anything adult related with Youhei was bad.'_

I could feel my interest to help disappearing and the urge to bash his head in replaced it. I had changed schools because of my past, which honestly was a case of consistent self-defense, but it was bad. I wanted to become the Student Council President bad enough to change my ways.

Well, they say a Zebra can't change its stripes. The quote is relatively true in my case.

I stared at his younger sister and felt pity consume me. To have such a beautiful sister be prideful in her failure of a brother was horrid. In my own eyes brothers had to be strong, passionate, caring, considerate for their siblings. I would give Youhei a piece of my mind, despite it being none of my business I would still make sure he understood how I felt and hopefully he'll make an attempt to change.

The look on his face after his discussion with the principle flashed across my face, and then replayed like some sort of montage, causing my chest to become suddenly heavy. I wouldn't have fathomed that the idiot was capable of such a look. It was a look that I wore often before in the past, especially when something wasn't going right in my life.

It was a painful look that tore through me. I felt a sigh escape my lips as I squeezed his sisters' hand. If she had a positive view of him then I'm sure he's done something right.  
_  
__'He's certainly become more than meets the eye.'_ I allow myself to conform to this thought process and choose to ignore his past doings. I feel as if tonight some things would be made clear to me, a side of him that I'm sure none of us knew he had. By _'us'_ I mean his school mates and associates.

"Youhei-nii is very peculiar. I know when he's lying to me sometimes, I can tell when he does because his voice becomes much harder, firmer, but he's really caring." I awoke from my personal thoughts to his sister talking to me. "I remember when Okazaki-nii helped me get in touch with my brothers softer side by appealing to the Soccer Club in your school."

Her voice trailed off recalling the memory. I had heard about a fight caused by Sunohara and the Soccer Club. Was Okazaki-san involved, too?

"What happened?" I found my curiosity getting the better of me.

"Well, I was getting picked on, they had us do a buncha' crappy chores and then they picked on me; grabbing me by my arms and lifting me up, making me cry." I heard her voice trail off again, she looked heart broken. "They said that us delinquents should all hang out together, that we were worthless, and before Okazaki-nii responded the person who was holding me let go and fell to the floor."

She sounded chipper, her eyes glittering as if recalling a Christmas memory.

"Youhei-nii came in and pounded on the soccer team. Eventually Okazaki-nii joined in, too." She smiled tearfully. "Youhei-nii came to save me just like when we were kids."

I could feel the smile in her voice. I couldn't help but smile myself and nodded approvingly. I would have to discuss the Soccer Team's actions with the head when I get back to my Presidential duties.

"Eventually Youhei-nii and Okazaki-nii got into a fight but Nagisa-nee broke and I broke it up. They laughed about it afterwards." She continued to smile and I continued to listen. She suddenly pouted and stared into my eyes. "You know that Youhei-nii wasn't always a delinquent! It was the soccer teams fault. He tried his hardest to improve the team, but they wouldn't listen. Eventually they started a fight with him and when he decided he had enough, he fought back."

A ton of emotions ran through her tiny voice, crackling under the pressure as she placed pressure into her grip. I squeezed back soothingly.

"They kicked him off the team and then he was prohibited to join any clubs because the Soccer Club blamed him for the fight."

I felt anger spark in my chest. _'I'll make sure to discuss the happenings with Okazaki-san and Sunohara-san before approaching the Soccer Club about this tomorrow.'_

She continued and I quietly listened. I never thought that Sunohara had such a detailed past. I guess that everyone associated with Okazaki-san is much more than meets the eye. I'm starting to understand that, especially with Sunohara-san. He was the biggest mystery because now his clown act and perverseness, macho-ism and idiocy seemed like a giant façade to cover up how he truly feels.

Secretly I wanted to know a bit more about him. I glanced over at Fujibayashi-san, who had started muttering allowed.

_"There's no way, right? A handsome electrician running off with him, him being Youhei, who had a guitar, came to The Blue Clam with said electrician, who was a former lead guitarist and singer of a band, quite the renowned band, too.."_

Apparently this was the case, as the sister simply spilled and confirmed it. I was actually excited. It was hard to think that the possibility of such an unfathomable person, specifically Youhei, existed in our school. I know that everyone has their secrets, that which they feel must be hidden from others, but Youhei must have mastered the art of doing so, because any other day I'd have told you he was worth next to nothing with his current mentality.  
_  
__"You guessed it? I guess it's not surprising."_ Mei beamed at Fujibayashi-san as she pushed the bigger-than-her doors wide open. _"He's not the type to express his emotions and thoughts in any other way through music. First it was choir, and then eventually because of Yusuke-san it became what it is now."_

I swallowed hard as all consistent and coherent thoughts escaped my head, replaced by the rush of cheering, ground stomping and crowd surfing. Adults and children of all kind were packed inside The Blue Clam. I knew where I was staring, directly into the spotlight illuminating the microphone. I saw the curtain slowly rise and surely Youhei Sunohara appeared, school shirt wide open and black wife-beater hugging his tiny torso, red school-tie swaying side to side, sloppily worn around the collar of his shirt, around his neck.

I wouldn't have recognized him if not for his trademark grin because his hair was black. He had re-dyed it to its original color. The crowd roared with cheers as he approached the microphone, strumming the guitar, sound of drums filling the small auditorium, all the way towards the entrance, where we couldn't move. I swore I heard Mei say something else but I wasn't listening.

_'This is Youhei Sunohara? I thought he would have been disliked everywhere, that he had fed his sister a lie about his current location.' _But it wasn't a lie. There he stood among the mass of possibly hundreds of fans, adoring him and raining cheers down on him, and he greeted them as excitedly as he could with a simple line:

"Hello, Japan!"

At some point soon after that I ceased to think.

**(End P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(Presently, Narrator's P.O.V. )**

* * *

The sound of beating drums reverberated around The Blue Clam, almost consuming the cheers but not quite there. The fans continued to roar with cheers as the soothing sound of an un-debuted song revealed itself to the public. Youhei Sunohara closed his eyes as he strummed the chords on his guitar, slamming the whammy bar and making a crying noise by tugging the strings upwards. The crowd responded with cheers.

As the song began to pick up, it soothed out the crowd, who raised their lighters into the air and swayed back and forth with the slow jam. The drums were vicious but the overall tune was slow, passionate, and immediately greeted Youhei with an unexpected effect.

'_This is what I live for now,_' His final thought as his eyes closed, the crowd unleashing a sensation that tickled him from head to toe. He could hear the practiced starting point, (1, 2..)_'I'm in the present, right here and now; I'm where I stand and I choose where I stand._' (1, 2, 3, 4)

He opened his mouth and began to sing:

_"The summer sun, it blows my mind, is falling down on all that I've ever known.__**  
**__Time will kiss the world goodbye; falling down on all that I've ever known.._

_Is all that I've ever known…"_

The crowd hummed to the lyrics, the beat, and their lighters swaying passionately with the rhythm. No matter where any person adverted their eyes would meet sea of bright little red fires lit by lighters, and the fuel was Youhei Sunohara. At the entrance of the bar, two females stood stunned, listening wholeheartedly to Youhei, Kyou Fujibayashi and Tomoyo Sakagami, where staring disbelievingly at their classmate, the infamous delinquent.

Kyou could feel her heart beating faster, faster, with each stroke of the guitar, to the sound of the young boys' voice_._

_'I never knew he could sing and play so well. His English is damn near perfect.. Mei-chan said this is how he expresses himself. Did he write these lyrics? Is this how he feels?' _An unsettling feeling arose in her chest; she grabbed her hands over her heart and continued to listen.

At some point the Class Rep ceased to think.

_"A dying scream makes no sound, calling out to all that I've known.__**  
**__Here am I, lost and found, calling out to all.._

_We live a dying~ dream,__**  
**__If you know what I mean~__**  
**__All that I've ever known.. __**  
**__It's all that I've ever known."_

Tomoyo Sakagami couldn't think properly. Here she was listening to the expressions of a low-life delinquent, someone whom she'd swear to never give her time of day to. It was because of the unforeseen incident that occurred at school yesterday she told herself.

_'His English is very well done, pronunciation is golden. This isn't the English of a person who's failing_ _English.. I can feel his emotions running through me.'_ She touched her chest, feeling some sort of warm feeling pulsating in her heart.

_"Catch the wheel that breaks the butterfly. __**  
**__I cried the rain that fills the ocean wide. __**  
**__I tried to talk with God to no avail, calling him in and out of nowhere said, __**  
**__"If you won't save me, please don't waste my time.""_

Youhei felt his fingers strum the guitar, picking up a rhythmic tune, Yusuke joining in with a solo of his own, as they both laid their emotions out on display, explaining them with their instruments. Subconsciously, he spoke into the microphone.

_"All that I've ever known..__**  
**__Ooh, all that I've ever known…__**  
**__It's all that I've ever known. _

_Catch the wheel that breaks the butterfly.__**  
**__I cried the rain that fills the ocean wide.__**  
**__I tried to talk with God to no avail, __**  
**__calling my name and out of nowhere said,__**  
**__"If you won't save me, please don't waste my time!"_

_The summer sun, it blows my mind, __**  
**__it's falling down on all that I've ever known.__**  
**__Time will kiss the world goodbye, falling down on all that I've ever known."_

The crowd and Youhei were in synch as the last chord chimed and they all sung together the last bit of lyric, his guitar playing softly, the drums dying down, the lighters still held high and the band stalled for a moment, eyes closed..

_"It's all that I've ever known."_

When it ended the crowd cheered louder than before, like some scene out of a popular bands montage, what you'd occasionally catch on television, chanting Youhei's and Yusuke's name in unison. Footsteps pounded the ground as stomps, thundering through the miniature auditorium.

Mei excitedly jumped up and down in front of the two older girls, who were still in a similar state of shock.

"You see?! You see?! My brothers amazing! He's amazing! They love him!" Mei laughed happily, ignoring the white hot feeling of tears trickling down her cheeks. "You see?!"

Kyou and Tomoyo reluctantly nodded.

_'Indeed,'_ they thought sequentially to the boasting of the younger Sunohara sibling. _'He's certainly much more than meets the eye.'_

* * *

**Chapter 1 - Fin.**

* * *

Please read and review. I would love comments about and critique. I'm sorry about the confusion while switching through P.O.V.'s I promise you that there's a legitimate reason for me doing so, which I'm sure you've realized. I wanted to give everyone a huge introduction and did so by introducing the two pairings I'd love to see with Sunohara. I'm sorry but Tomoya isn't the most favorable character in my decision; My favorite is Youhei. I have give two optional pairings of my choice and will proceed with choosing the pairing depending on feedback from readers, you can tell me which you'd want, Kyou or Tomoyo, and depending which course the story takes before I have enough feed back.

Thank you for reading, people. (: Chapter 2 will be up asap.

Chapter Song: Oasis - Falling Down  
All lyrics and music belong to them

* * *

----------------------------  
----------------------------


	2. The Haunts of Youhei Sunohara

Ah, hello again. This chapter is actually out a lot sooner than expected. I originally planned to release one bi-weekly but opted to write whenever I felt a spark of creativity, and thus present you with Chapter 2. Those who will be faithfully reading, thank you. Those who have reviewed, many thanks to you, too.

**To: AAA:** You're absolutely correct, however there's an entertaining reason explaining why she didn't recognize him. I want to say more but no; I'll instead leave you with this bit of thought explaining my current line of thinking when I wrote that bit. _(You pointing that out was also a perfect critique, shows that my writing still lacks a lot of depth, which hopefully I redeemed myself with this chapter. Anyway, back to the Yusuke being unrecognized portion.)_ Think about it this way: There's a reason she couldn't recognize him, she felt his presence was familiar, as if she knows him from some place, somewhere. He wears something she's accustomed to seeing this person she knows but she can't quite put her finger on it.

**To all of my current and future readers:** Please keep in mind that this fiction has moments, situations that have never occurred within the plot of the manga, anime, nor the visual novel. Think of it as a refreshing start to Clannad, an alternate universe with a bit more depth on a secondary character who happens to be the main character of my novel. Thank you.

Remember to read, review, critique, I welcome any thoughts on the story.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Clannad nor its characters.

* * *

"_I see everybody's working to hold onto what they know, so I guess I kept belief that my tonight will never go. Some spend a lifetime searching, trying to figure out when hell stops and heaven begins._

_How soon is now?"  


* * *

_

Chapter 2: The haunts of Youhei Sunohara.

* * *

Normally Youhei Sunohara woke up on his own, at some late time during the day, just like today. And on this peculiar and particular day his plans to sleep in weren't about to change.

Or so he thought.

Now he had contemplated the thought last night after his late night escapades, coming to terms that he had a week to show the principle of Hikarizaka he was indeed trying to fix his attendance and grades, but that was a requirement needing to be met week from yesterday and he wanted to enjoy a day or five of late day resting, some skipping and showing up to class late.

Or so he believed the plan would be.

However life for Youhei was a tad bit cruel.

Here he was walking to school at the break of sunlight, nursing a bruise on his cheek from the punch he had received courtesy of Kyou and a bruise the size of a large ant colony on his chest, also courtesy of Kyou.

No, Kyou did not slap or scratch when she was angry, agitated, whatever negative and angry emotion you could come up with; hell, even when she joked around there's a chance of having a tooth knocked out, perhaps a rib or two broken.

Of course, this was how Youhei Sunohara understood her, since he's been on her kicking, punching, and throwing side many a day.

Yes, Kyou karate kicked and kung-fu punched whoever crossed her bad side. (And sometimes the unfortunate victims who happened to be on her good side would get it, too.)

"You gorilla bitch, I thought it was a dream; you didn't have to nearly dislocate my jaw and fracture my chest." Youhei walked a few steps behind Kyou and Tomoya, sluggishly dragging his brown book bag, free hand rubbing his swollen cheek. "What if my heart had stopped? Or worse, what if my jaw broke and I wasn't able to eat?"

Kyou glared at the now black-haired boy, earning a girly, _"Kyee!!"_ from the flinching teenager.

"Firstly, how would you like me to teach you to eat from a tube connected to your throat?" Teary eyed Youhei quickly dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand, opting to avoid any more confrontation with the brutal beauty.

"Firstly? You mean there's more?" He whined, making a lame attempt to catch up.

"Yes, because I'm worried about the fact you believe a broken jaw is worse than a fractured chest." She grabbed him by the neck, quicker than he could respond, holding him in a choke hold. Tomoya was unresponsive the entire time, obviously too tired to try any more jokes. "AND most importantly, you haven't thanked Tomoya-kun and I for waking you up on time to get to school and fix your shitty attendance. Learn some manners.

"I should be in the hospital." Youhei retorted inaudibly. "I wouldn't have tried to grab your breasts had I realized this wasn't a fantasy of mine, a dream; I thought I was DREAMING-"

"-Until I kicked you."

"-And then Tomoya-baka told me you and I had overslept a thousand years into the future, that you and I had to reproduce to save the earth from extinction because we were the last humans alive on earth."

"-You're under the delusion that I'd reproduce with you even if you _were_ the last living soul on the face of this earth."

"-Gorilla bitch!"

She squeezed, _'She'_ being Kyou, squeezed his, what she _'squeezed'_ was his neck, and _'his' _meaning _'him'_ - being Youhei, whom screamed louder and much more effeminate than the moment before.

"You're directing your anger towards the wrong person, because of your gullibility while waking up is the reason you believed Tomoya-kun's lies, and it's why you ended up hurt!" Youhei eventually tapped Kyou's shoulder twice, after he couldn't breathe and started turning many different shades of purple, showing that he had _'tapped out'_ or given up.

"Ah-ah, shit, breathing hurts." Youhei grumbled, straitening his school clothing out as best he could, keeping in mind to watch for his sore spots. "I guess it's ironic that you've both decided to wake me up early, seeing as I am in a bit of a bind involving my attendance and arrival time.."

The whisper seemed more directed toward his thoughts rather than any of the two accompanying him to school. It was barely a whisper and Kyou barely caught the gist of it. So what she had seen happen between the principle and him was something affecting his immediate future.

"Thanks." Youhei said at last.

Tomoya, who was still walking like the living-dead, shrugged the thanks off, while Kyou gave an infamous grin and two thumbs up.

The group spent the remainder of five minutes in which it took them to climb up the hill towards the front gates of their school, becoming a part of a sea filled with generic High School uniforms. It was summer time; most of the males chose to wear a casual dressing code consisting of brown dress shoes with long, smooth blue dress pants, a tucked in long-button-up-white-dress-shirt, and a red tie.

Females sported white thigh-long stockings accompanied by a similar pair of brown dress shoes, a blue skirt which had straps similar to overalls straps, but a tad bit thicker, underneath was a white short-sleeved shirt, not like a dress shirt but similar to a thick t-shirt. Double parallel lines adorning the white color mimicked the color of the summer skirt. The casual light pink bow hung loosely on all the females' uniforms. It was quite simple, similar to male uniforms in color coordination. Etc.

However unlike female uniforms, which were a completely different get-up from their winter wear, the male summer uniform was a simple extraction of their dress-code jacket.

Dress codes were essential for order in school; it also diversified the differences in schools and their quality. You could clearly tell lower-class schools from higher-class schools because of uniform quality. Hikarizaka was obviously one of those higher-class schools, at least a tad above the average.

Eventually they caught site of the Theatre's president, Furukawa Nagisa. This instantly brought Tomoya out of his zombie trance, giving her a soft smile and a wave.

"Good morning, Okazaki-kun, Fujibayashi-san, Sunohara-san." Okazaki, who had developed a bit more of a forward personality with the girl he loved, took hold one of her free hands, looking straight ahead in a lame attempt to hide his blushing face. Nagisa subconsciously pulled herself closer to the boy.

"Good morning, Nagisa." The simple greeting from her lover caused her hand to squeeze his, obviously praying that her happy emotions got through to him with the simple gesture. She also opted to hide her blushing face, which they both failed to do successfully.

"Nagisa-chan, I got bulled today by that manly gor-I mean Kyou!" Youhei clenched her free hand, bring it to his face, pretending to cry, sniffling. "Help me."

"Um.. Sunohara-san, perhaps if you weren't so perverted.."

Youhei fell to his knees, clutching his head.

"Nagisa-chan automatically assumes I did something perverted!"

"-Because you did." Kyou kneed Youhei's head, knocking him back, forcing him to get up.

"-A flash of purpl-"

"WIPE IT FROM YOUR MEMORY!"

Unfortunately _(For him) _Youhei didn't get a chance to get up because of a swift kick catching his forehead by yours truly, Kyou, who brushed her shoes off as if dirt had fallen on her toes after knocking the delinquent into a state of some kind of forced sleep, then she _'hmphed!' _and made her way to greet her younger sister, Ryou, who stood out as much as the older sibling because of their bright purple hair.

"Are you alright, Sunohara-san?!" Tomoya laughed, slinging the boys arm around his shoulders, taking care to hold him by his waist, on the other half of the unconscious boy was Nagisa, helping Tomoya.

"You shouldn't touch him, Nagisa, his idiocy and perverseness might be contagious." Nagisa frowned at Tomoya, who was more than likely imagining a perverse version of herself.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll help you take him to class and then."

"It's fine, just head to your class." Nagisa shook her head.

"We.. didn't get to walk to school together because you went to wake Sunohara-san up so that he could get to school on time." Tomoya signed, understanding. "I hope that didn't make you mad.."

"No, no. It's fine. Funny how going to wake Youhei up happened, too." The two trudged with Youhei up the stairs, talking about the early morning happenings. "Kyou came to the bakery asking for me around 5:00 A.M. so that we could wake Youhei up to be on time for school."

There was a moment of silence.

"Don't you find that odd?" Nagisa shook her head.

"I'm sure Kyou considers everyone in the Theatre Club to be a friend of hers and Youhei does have a bad school record, so she decided to help him as a friend." She commented whilst placing him into his chair, straightening her skirt as she stared at Tomoya with a small smile. "So I can't say that I find it odd at all."

"You have a very odd but understandable logic, Nagisa." He returned the smile. "You should head to your homeroom quickly, the bell is about to ring. I'll see you after school, alright?"

"Alright!" She stood there for a moment as if waiting for something, but soon left in time to hear the bell ring as the door closed.

The bell was apparently loud enough to wake up Youhei from his slumber, who was cursing Kyou's name, something along the lines of _'Gorilla Bitch'_ and other inaudible more-than-likely worse cursing.

Homeroom passed by slowly, unsurprisingly nothing interesting occurred. Youhei spent his time writing and erasing vividly the contents of a composition book, which Tomoya had taken note that it was being used often by Youhei. He opted to spend his time glancing at the book, attempting to catch a peak of its contents. Youhei would retort by telling the blue-haired boy to mind his own business, eventually being apprehended for their disruptive behavior during class by their Homeroom teacher.

Youhei glanced out the window to his left, staring into the sky; the clouds moved as slow as the day. Today felt odd, boring, and bland, as if nothing interesting would happen. Though this feeling wasn't uncommon to the two delinquents, while Okazaki's life had started taking a change towards better, obviously interesting because of his new found home and family, girlfriend. Sunohara's life was still the same, except now he was forced to be awake sooner for the start of his every day repetitive ritual.

'_I understand I can't lose out on the dorm, my parents need to stabilize their situation.. Even if they stabilize financially a part of me feels like a bitch going back to them because I couldn't fix my own problems.' _The majority of second period and third period was spent pondering thoughts, worries, and possibilities in his near and far future_. 'I guess I've got no choice but to stick this through. I know I should be paying attention to fix my grades but for now it's enough that I actually game to school on time.'  
_

The truth of this reality was that Youhei was forced to school by Tomoya and Kyou. He counted himself lucky for actually making it to school on time and felt that sometime he should properly thank the two, perhaps after he explained the situation. He soon shrugged that idea out of his head, since Sunohara realized that he wasn't the type to explain his problems to other people.

He smiled to himself, sitting back into his chairs with his arms folded behind his back_. 'However, there's something that makes these few boring hours of school worth it in my life, it doesn't occur in the day, but when the sun sets I live a life of flashing lights.'  
_

Despite his new found maturity Youhei Sunohara was still a teenaged boy and was prone to fantasizing about his late night life.

* * *

**(Presently Youhei Sunohara's P.O.V.)**

I woke up as soon as third period ended, probably because of the noise my classmates made in their rush to leave the classroom; their voices carried over through my naps quite easily. Strangely enough I felt a bit more alive than usual, because normally I'd have never woken up if this were a few months back in the past, especially during my second year. Hell, I wouldn't have been in school.

I glanced to my left and notice that Okazaki had left, probably with Nagisa enjoying lunch. I quickly collect myself, the composition book I write all of my lyrics in, and the crappy dusty brown shoulder-strap back pack, exiting the room and making my way towards the empty classrooms, usually the ones that were occupied by clubs. I wasn't particularly hungry today, in fact today; in fact I was in a rush. A few days ago I had taken the liberty of hiding the acoustic guitar I purchased with last week's earnings inside an empty classroom, behind all the remaining cardboard boxes.

Eventually I reached my destination. It was in a section of the school where students rarely went, especially because of supposed hauntings. Generally this area was favorable because it lacked people, just empty rooms which students avoided and clubs didn't exist.

He couldn't explain the sensation or how this started, his approach to Yusuke and why he decided to keep it a secret. The decision to play in a band came out of the blue quite literally.

The Blue Clam.

I first went to B.C. when Yusuke-san asked me to come back to his house and play guitar for him. The night before I had practiced my ass off but could only master the intro. It was acceptable to him and he decided to take me to B.C.

What made me practice? I've asked myself this question many times before.

Have you ever walked past a store and read a quote on the cover of a book? Listened to a song and lyrics shined past all their lyrics? The kind of book quote that makes you reread the book; the kind of lyric that has you rewinding a song until seared and burned into your skull, into your brain.

I've had a lot of those moments. I can't count on my hands and toes how many times I've stopped and contemplated my entire life because of a single quote. On the day that I purchased that cheap guitar and amp I had another revealing moment, all because I decided to take different route home.

It was poetic.

Taking a different road home and realizing that I could choose the direction of my life by doing simply that. Perhaps I was looking into this too much, but it didn't feel like coincidence. It felt like fate, inevitable. Since that day I had started to change and today I don't believe in coincidences.

Something like some kind of a fire was lit in my chest and I wanted to walk through the heat to see to what degree these flames would burn, if they'd continue to burn. If truth be told I was scared of these flames going out.

Okazaki had once said that I was the type to easily give up on something because my attention span was short lived. I didn't want this to be one of _those_ situations. Though I wanted to disagree with him, in the end, he was right, until the day I took a different route, read that quote, and purchased my cheap guitar and cheap amplifier. I did everything I could that night to show Yusuke-san that I could play guitar despite the truth of that reality being that I had never in prior picked up any instrument.

**(Flashback [Still in Youhei's P.O.V.])**

"_Playing the guitar is self-expression with six strings."_

I told Yusuke-san that was why I wanted to play guitar and he retorted_, "You sound like some desperate brat fishing for attention, trying to prove he's cool." _

I made him sit there while I poured every bit of emotion into my cheap guitar and out of my cheap amplifier. At some point I must have gotten my heart across because he smiled down at me and gave me bandages to cover my bleeding fingers. It had been the first time I felt proud of anything I've accomplished since _'that'_ fateful day. I meant the day I joined the soccer club during my first year.

_"You practice until your fingers bleed and practice some more, Youhei-kun."_ He had told me, _"And eventually your fingertips will harden, building up calluses, and playing will become more enjoyable, especially without the pain."_

I thought the night would end there but it didn't. He told his wife that he'd be back later that night, explaining that he wanted to go hang a bit at The Blue Clam.

When I got there it was another world, one which I never knew existed. He told me that it was an extremely popular hangout for college students but many people gathered here from other cities and in-town residents as well for amateur night, which was every night. The most popular bands were always reserved for last, some of them even earning record deals and getting a full night of concert for themselves.

_"Have you ever played here?"_ I asked while completely entranced with my new surroundings.

_"Yeah, I have. It wasn't too long ago but this was certainly where my band became famous."_ His smile that moment made me feel nostalgic.

I contemplated hard while watching the crowd cheer for their favorite bands, unknown bands, too. I felt my hand twitch involuntarily at first and then repeat the process. I could feel tears forming and set took a down-casted focus, hiding my trembling hands from the public's view, from Yusuke-sans' view.

_'What have I been doing with my life?! Am I really satisfied with the way things currently are? Day in and out I waste my life away doing needless garbage, Mei-chan must have noticed how despicable I am, untrustworthy, waste of space, and holding no certain future.. '_M_y_ entire body trembled because of the confusion and fear threatening to overtake my chest, the pent up rage I had never realized building itself in my tiny body, every bit of emotion I had sworn on that day would never be a part of me was leaking out and there was nothing I could do to stop it. _'I keep waiting, waiting, waiting for someone to come and save me, anyone, but the truth is that I can't even help myself and am unworthy of accepting help from anyone else. I wasn't worthy of helping my own sister. I'm so fucked up..'_

I must have been in the dark for what felt like decades, but there was a tightening grasp on my shoulder, one that gave me security and slowed my body's shaking and the tears from swelling and overflowing; apparently my condition had never escaped Yusuke-san's view because he had covered my body with his jacket. I felt myself reluctantly smile. What a comforting person.

Though the music was loud, the cheers of the crowd hadn't died down, the eruption of screams only got louder, I could hear him as clear as day.

"Where hell stops and heaven begins is entirely up to you," I felt my heart thump for the first time in what felt like a millennia. "And always remember that through the darker nights there will always be a brighter day, however what you decide to do during the day is your decision, Youhei-kun."  
_  
Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump. _

Is this what people see when they're dying?

It was as if someone had hit play and a montage of memories flashed across my eyes, seemingly full of a regretful past; a montage of _'Could have'_ and _'has been'_ memories that gave birth to an unbearable pain in my chest.

I grabbed Yusuke-san's arm and squeezed as hard as I could, as hard as my feeble hand would allow me to, I wanted to break my fingers on his strong, built arm, so that he could understand just how much pain I was in and how weak I felt. He didn't allow me. In turn, he placed a comforting hand on top mine and let me cry, let me think.

_Ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump._

"_Yusuke-san,"_ I felt myself whisper. I didn't have any control of myself at this point but I knew what would come out of my mouth would be the correct. _"Please, Yusuke-san, teach me to play the guitar."_

"_I will, Youhei-kun,"_ He said. _"I will."_

**(End Flashback, Continuing in Youhei's P.O.V.)**

And since that day I've played the guitar as if I were possessed, like some kind of madman, and refused to put it down since.

I learned that I had a knack for writing lyrics and often spent my time doing so, Yusuke would often help. He was really a veteran of musical work. We came across a bass guitarist in The Blue Clam whom had realized came often and one day caught us practicing in Yusuke's van. She had a friend who played drums, but promised to only play in a group for a short while as their main band members were finishing school studies before continuing the band. The female was named Sakura, she's the bassist, and the drummer is named Sagara. That's about as much we knew about them. Everything else was explained through music.

We entered a musical tournament that helped us rise to fame; eventually we became regulars at The Blue Clam because of our success in the ranking, which is actually number four out of sixty bands. Of course had we met sooner, as Yusuke explained, who took up the role as rhythm guitarist (Back up guitarist), occasionally switching singing roles with myself, had we met sooner the chemistry would have been much better and our success would have been much more grand.

Regardless, we enjoyed those moments. We often get publicity because of The Blue Clam, which is why I'm surprised my classmates haven't heard of me. I'm not playing music to boat but to express myself, so it didn't matter if what they thought of me in the end.

Our band name was actually unoriginal. We couldn't think of anything else and it wasn't listed as a band name, not even on the internet. I know because we all searched the name with google.

We are The Blue Clam's.

It was nothing fancy, it was unoriginal, but it fit us beautifully. We're the poetics of modern society, hidden from the view until we pick up our instruments and express ourselves, until I express myself on six strings.

It sounded cool in my head.

A few seconds later I heard the first bell ring, meaning there were 5 minutes until class started. It wasn't until that bell had rung, knocking me out of my state of reminiscing that I had felt the acoustic guitar in my hand and that I was seated on the ground in the far right corner, strumming a song I had made on my own time. I chuckled.

'_Like a madman, eh.'_

I could risk being late but today would be the last of this tardy-business.

**(End Youhei's P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(Tomoyo's P.O.V.)**

The morning after Sunohara-san's show I was a bit tired. I had been out until 3:00 A.M. watching it, and when it ended, I escorted Fujibayashi-san home. Mei-chan ran off to meet her brother. Eventually I arrived home well past 3:00 A.M.

I can't recall what time precisely.

A large portion of my thinking the entire morning into the afternoon involved Sunohara-san, specifically what his sister had told me. I still hadn't become curious enough to approach the teenager about his problems, but in my own way, out of his view, because I felt it was correct, decided to help him out.

I had given Ryou, his Class Representative a message, asking Okazaki to meet me afterschool.

I would firstly question Okazaki about what the Soccer Club had done that night, when the rumored fight happened. Based on what evidence I could gather, which I confidently can say that I _will_ find some sort of evidence, I will take action against the current Soccer Club.

Part of my duties as the Student Council President involved me making rounds and monitoring the halls for anyone causing trouble. It was something that I had become accustomed to. I was permitted to return 15 minutes top after class has started and did my rounds once a day, after third period break, every day.

I rarely thought about my troubles outside of school because I had new issues that occurred in school. I didn't think of it as running away, but as a step for a more successful future. Looking back at how I once lived my life, also a former delinquent, I had one day decided to change. I wanted to become part of the Student Council for many reasons; especially the reasons involve saving the Sakura trees.

I had heard today from an unnamed source that Sunohara had made it to school on time today, which surprised me. I hadn't expected the principles words to have reached him.

I also learned that Okazaki and Kyou, namely Kyou contributed to the success of his early arrival. I chuckled. I could imagine the shock teachers felt seeing a student whom rarely showed up a moment before 12:00 P.M. sat in their class, at 7:35 A.M.

A part of me was glad, too, that he had made it on time. I turned the corner, finding myself leading towards the regular hangout of delinquents, where teachers never really approached and clubs didn't exist.

The sun gave the rooms here a rare gloss, almost breathing life into its emptiness. It caused me to sigh happily. I was such a sucker for peace; I'm also a sucker for a bit of chaos.

My thoughts were disrupted when I heard a soft melody coming from the last room at the end of the hall; it was slow and coming from an acoustic guitar. The serene tune sent shivers down my spine, the kind that felt matched a heavy heart lifted by an unknown entity.

I stalked the sound and slowly opened the door to a crack, peeking inside and noticing Youhei Sunohara seated in a corner, legs crossed, strumming the guitar.. I stared for a bit and watched him go through various emotions, some extremely painful facial features that made me reminisce on my own past, others were happy, satisfied, confused, way too many to think of at once.

I could have sworn a tear slid down his cheek at some point, but I discarded it. I still couldn't picture Youhei being much more than some delinquent pervert, despite of what I saw last night. I am an extremely stubborn.

I decided to enter the room but stopped when his eyes slowly opened. His essence seemed to compliment the room, and he began playing the tune a bit louder, sinking into his background.

And then he started to sing in his perfect English, playing his strangely uplifting song despite the morbidity contents contained in his lyrics. One that took me to a far off place, where I contemplated on my own life, my brother, my family, and where I would be 30 years from now..

Yes, I thought of my past, present, and future.

**(End Tomoyo Sakagami's P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(Kyou's P.O.V.)**

I'm not sure how I found myself in this predicament, cramped inside a tiny janitor's closet, peeking through tiny little bars at Youhei Sunohara. Beside me was Okazaki Tomoya, who I had asked the best place to skip class and he graciously led me here.

_'Gracious?'_ I mentally scoffed. _'I sure as hell don't feel that way right now.'_

Originally I wanted to find any clue of Youhei's hangouts, where he skipped so that I could try to find out as much information on him as possible, mind you, this course of action – The fact that I'm actually trying to figure the idiot out is beyond me. Trust me, I've spent an entire night searching for why, alas, I concluded on the same reasoning I had with Tomoyo-san the day before.

Why was I locked into a closet with Okazaki Tomoya?

This situation has a simple but stupid explanation; I got scared when Youhei walked into the room unannounced and shoved Tomoya into the closet with me, so that we could hide and wait for him to leave. I was a tad bit uncomfortable, namely because the man that I loved was so up-close and personal with me right now. Not by choice, but I wonder if he found it nice.

"I thought you said you knew who the guitar belonged to!" I whispered viciously into Tomoya's ear.

"I said that I've seen other people play it before," He whispered back, breathing softly against my ear. It ticked me in a funny way I couldn't explain. "Besides, we're not sure it's his, and I doubt that it is, too. He can't play guitar."

"I-" I found myself falling silent. I'm sure that Youhei wouldn't want me to reveal his late night whereabouts and ended up falling silent.

I tried not to shift, there wasn't anything inside the closet, but I didn't want to make noise.

"Why are we hiding in here anyway? Youhei's the only one out there." I felt Tomoya moved against me to open the door, but before he could my arm was wrapped around his, holding it as tightly as I could, I pleaded.

"Not right now. Please. Just.. just wait. I'm sure if you do, you'll understand why.." She could feel his muscles tensing up at the feel of her skin, her breast planted on his arms, breath just as close to his neck as him to hers.

"O-okay," seemed the most he could muster.

She sighed in relief.

Forever and a day seemed to pass by as Youhei sat there strumming a nameless tune, displaying a various sorts of emotions. Was he asleep? I wasn't so sure. I didn't want to risk him knowing that Tomoyo and I knew about his secret. Some voice in the back of my head was telling me that it's better it remained a secret between him and his faithful followers.

I wasn't too sure about what had happened last night, I remember deciding to wake him up as early as possible. I'm sure people wouldn't find it odd. Our group considered all of us friends and I guess I shared their views.

'_Okay,'_ I told myself this morning, when I made my resolution to ask Tomoya for his help. _'It's because we're friends that I am helping him. I'm sure if he had seen any of us go through those motions then he'd have jumped in to help in his own way.'_

I started to feel irritated; it felt like forever that Sunohara had sat there day dreaming, yes, some of his facial expressions made me wonder what he was day dreaming of. I'd simply prefer to wonder out of this cramped closet, where Okazaki isn't so close. I swear he could my heart beating on my chest.

I certainly felt his.

I quickly shook the thought of my head.

It happened rather quickly, the moment he opened his eyes was the moment the tune picked up in life, it was a slow, sorrowful song, morbid and not of my taste because of it, but it was certainly beautiful. I felt the similar sensations swirl around my chest again, replacing my thoughts of Tomoya, whom when Youhei started singing, my love breathed words that I couldn't: _"Wow."_

**(End Kyou's P.O.V.)**

* * *

**(Narrators P.O.V.)**

Though Youhei had spent the better half of 45 minutes thinking of the past few months, it felt like a second to him. They were memories holding both pain and happiness, the Yin and Yang essential to every person's life, like death and life. This caused him to treasure the few, rare moments he had with those he started to consider friends. He treasured the smile and amoroso warmth that rose in his chest when his sister hugged him, when she felt he was alright.

'_I must be some sort of a sister-con,'_ He thought to himself, _'but I'm positive it's in all the correct ways.'_

He slowly opened his eyes to the well lit room, shadows dancing around because of the positioning of the sun consistently changed. He felt that he room was coming to life and almost gave the shadows names.

There was a song he had been practicing a while ago, he wanted to perfect it. He practiced it often and nearly memorized the lyrics. He would try it from memory. Even when he was away from The Blue Clam, band and auditorium slash hangout, slash bar, he could hear the roar of the crowd. Today, though, he wanted complete silence from humans and the compete attention of Mother Nature.

About 3'O'clock of him wind blew gently through a crack, perhaps a window, cooling the room from the suns summer heat. If he meditated long enough, he could hear the refreshing gasp of grass playing with the wind.

Mother Nature had tuned in to his song, the tune that had played in his head when Yusuke and him had first gone to The Blue Clam. He had been working on this song for the longest time, and it was something he chose to only play for himself.

Perhaps because he still had insecurities when expressing himself with music, he wanted it to be as acute to how he feels during the moment. He felt the familiar ache stir up in his gut again, the one he had felt when this revelation first occurred. The mood was perfect.

He stroked the string a last time and began to sing:

_**"And I don't think we'll get out of this hell but the time spent with you has been nice.  
A cold, love, bloody knuckle trigger finger riding on the edge of mind,  
a salute to the end of the world, and a beautiful end for you girl.**_

_**Because all night I've been picking fights with the fur men and the barstool kings,  
and when it sounds right, I'll bring them down to their knees, son,  
and with the glorious red we'll be off with their heads.~"**_

His voice was crystalline clear, like his guitar, and the mood in the room indeed was perfect. Unbeknownst to him, though, in the eyes of his secret crowd, they, too, felt the intensity of his lyrics. Despite the difference in language understanding, the majority of the song was heartfelt. He strummed the guitar a bit more reassuringly, licking his lips to continue.

_**"Phantoms in the courtyard waiting on the breeze to float after me, to a chamber of wailing ferns.  
The calm yellow air and the dark woolen skies say our villains will arise,  
oh, haunted by twos they awake by you.**_

_**But it's alright in a scissor hell, and it's alright to fall deep in love,  
because all night I'll be following matches into the dawn of light, where I melt you.**_

_**You gotta pull stars down to be someone,  
And when the chemi-claimed the sun, you gotta..  
When the ocean fills your life somehow, you gotta break the dam and wave to yourself.**_

_**You gotta pull stars down to be someone,  
And when the chemi-claimed the sun, you gotta..  
When the ocean fills your life somehow, you gotta break the dam and wave to yourself.**_

_**And sometimes in a silver hell you've gotta search for gold, and in the right light, we're just angels with enemies.."**_

The outro crept to a slow stop, Youhei inevitably shaking. Inevitably because the song just played would always be a constant reminder of a time once past and now is through. How he had failed to fulfill Japan's mediocrity standards for a successful student, which apparently meant he failed to become successful in the future.

Youhei inhaled shakily, his lungs felt weak and his mind had become a sudden black before slipping back into it's now habitual irregularities. He felt the same tension building back up the moment the principle decided to give him a piece his mind.

He wanted to shout, scream. He wanted to thrash and destroy. This pent up emotion had been boiling in his melting pot for a while had long since boiled, and he felt that the outburst of emotion wouldn't pass over as steam, but heated lava. The flames licked every bit of his membrane and tickled his senses, as if poisoned by the acridity of some mysterious potion, his body contorted violently into a curled protective ball; mouth hemorrhaging unspoken feelings, "Why? Why do I feel so left behind?" He'd mutter repeatedly in a feral fashion, as if taken over by dormant animalistic instincts.

"What makes them so fucking different?" He gripped his head violently, head clashing into the nearest wall with a dull thud, "I'm so fucked up, and I'm so fucked up! I can't take this shit anymore. Why am I being left behind?! Everyone tells me the same generic bullshit; Friends, family, enemies, associates, the lot of them!"

No matter how soon or later he tried to correct his wrong doings, it seemed that this scholastic life he pledged to lead wasn't a future he visualized for himself after becoming a delinquent and talking to Yusuke.

His guitar had long since fell, slipped from his grasp and miraculously not breaking as it clashed with the floor and glided away from his bodies abnormal reaction to his building stress and rage finally showing itself; breaking through his mental and physical defenses.

Definitely for the better, because the next moment, behind what he believed to be closed doors, where no one would hear his heresy, in the depths of the schools furthest rooms, away from any form of light, he became violent, for a moment, letting the banging thoughts on his skull seep through into his reality, far beyond the grasp of his imagination.

And violently, with a defiant roar, hot white tears burning his eyes shut, summoning from the source in his chest the ethereal feeling of anger, confusion, deep seeded issues soiled solidly in some sort of self-loathing hollow pain, so much it hurt that he bellowed, screaming inhumanely, slamming his head into the ground, reverberating his headaches throughout collapsing lungs, which tried earnestly to deliver a steady dose of oxygen to his brain.

To some extent it was to no avail.

He could feel his conscience slipping away from his grasp, breathing words barely audible to human ears, expressing himself in the sanctum of the surrounding walls in his personally found sanitarium.

More than anything, he wanted a sense of self, a purpose, to fill this empty gaping hole in his persona. He wanted answers from the people who most cared and those who he cared nothing for, anyone would do at this moment.

Unbeknownst to his sanity, so deep into his unfathomable issues, he continued to slam his head against the cracking tile, growling sentences barely audible to any humans' ears.

"Because you're all leaving me behind, to a better and successful future, and I'm still trapped in the same state of mind I was when my delinquent career began." He muttered through the convulsing blood escaping his mouth, "I'm so fucked up."

Perhaps had he been a bit saner at the moment he'd have seen the door open and the Student Council president grab him forcefully by the head, meeting his pathetic state, eyes wide in an obvious state of shock, keeping him from furthering his damage. He couldn't continue anyway, he felt weak, and he had started slowly slipping into the darkness. Further and further away from the light.

A sinister part of his personality chuckled, because despite destroying himself he had found no answers. All this display of raw human emotion had to find a form of vent.

A side of him he wouldn't want anyone to see, but he barely understood what was happening in front of him. He couldn't comprehend that at the same moment the Student Council president burst through the gliding doors that the janitors' closet had followed suit simultaneously. That Tomoya had his arms gripped firmly, staring disbelievingly at the face of the closest thing he had to a friend since first year.

Nor could he comprehend why Kyou stumbled out with mouth hanging ajar, hand failing to cover up her surprised face, eyes equally as wide as every other person in the room aside from Youhei Sunohara's.

No, he was in a state of darkness. At some point the pain became too much and he resigned himself to fall onto something soft, catching him from shoulders and evading further damage.

The only thing he understood was his guitar cellos helped keep him mellow, before he touched knees to elbow, and gave into his darkness within the depths of his sanctum in his mental sanitarium.

He smiled genuinely, mumbling before giving away his conscience, "I understand how far apart the people of Japan and I are morally, logically, and the painful of knowing that I'll never fulfill these mediocre standards my forefathers have set for me haunt me."

He had slipped asleep without knowing that he had been spared a cruel awakened trip to the hospital, nor that anyone had carried him there.

* * *

Chapter end.

* * *

**A/N:**

I understand it's dark, morbid, and highly unlike Youhei, as some may argue, however, if we broaden our views a bit and see how the series itself takes a sudden turn into the main and side characters issues, developing an understanding relation between the main characters plot and their transformation to what we see at the end, then it's logical that this would be bound to happen. Perhaps not to the degree I'm portraying in my fiction but I want people to understand that I'm trying to have Youhei break through his issues in his own way, in an unheard of style. I only hope that the readers can sympathize with my point.

I had to dig up a bit a lot of my own emotions deep from within the caves of my imaginations, my very own past experiences and feelings about my current standing in life.

I'll be the first to admit that I've had high standards of my life but that changed the moment I realized the people who were considered successful, the ones with plaques glittered degree trophy walls were now dying and making less than I had in my own ventures.

This bit of confusion is what I want to portray through Youhei Sunohara, who is confused by our generic social standards, confusion that affects us deeply when we realize that what we want in life is a completely different route from the paramount schooling that our T.V.'s, teachers; everyone and everything around us claims to be a sure fire way to success.

And realizing that very few in the world live a copesthetic life; very few do what they truly want to do; instead compromise to do what they need to do so that they can survive in hopes of a better future. The difference suddenly isn't so paper-thin anymore.

These doubts are spontaneous and sporadic, revealing themselves whenever in moments of weakness and during our greatest moments in life. It's a sudden change of emotion that few can stop once the realization sinks in. The difference is that few of us realize the truth of our reality in our early days but they surface later, when we're older, shorter of breath and a day closer to death. (Pink Floyd's lyrics state the coming of death and time wasting better than I.)

Usually our mentality at that later age is much more refined. Because of that we're able to cope with this threatening feeling in a bit more maturity than our younger counterparts.

But /I/ know that /I/ can't remain ignorant to the truth and refuse to live ignorantly in bliss. These are the same sorts of doubts I had as a child growing up, at a younger age than this fictions protagonist. Could you fathom what I went through trying to make sense of my mumbled jumbled thoughts? I'm sure a few of you can.

Now my question to my readers is simple, simple like the saying of seeing your glass half full or empty, but far more profound: Are you living while you're alive? Or are you dying while being alive?

P.S.

**The song in today's chapter is:** Lovedrug - Angels with Enemies.

Check out their discography. They're absolutely stunning.

Thanks again for reading and please review. I welcome critiques and personal thoughts, whether they're positive or negative.


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